"We will give you trading caaaaaaaards and for some completely inexplicable reason you're statistically likely to caaaaaaare." The slightest moment of irritation is a reason to jump ship to another game, finishing becomes about feeling able to move on instead of soaking in all of the goodness each has to offer, and even in the best times, the games not being played still cast their tantalising shadow over proceedings. Like eating a whole box of Quality Street at once, they all mulch together into one gooey mess. There are, I'm sure, people who are able to play just one at a time, but for most of us this is the easiest way to sap each individual game of much of its flavour.
#IS THERE A STEAM CHRISTMAS SALE SIMULATOR#
This week you get BioShock Infinite, next week you know you're getting Saints Row 4, then cleanse your palette with Goat Simulator and then next month you will have quit your job/have a whole summer holiday ahead for Civilisation 5. It almost feels like the ideal Steam sale would be one that lets you queue up a few games rather than simply activating them immediately - the chance to create your own bespoke release schedule where you pay now, while the games are cheap, but still get a bit of distance. Assassin's Creed is the one with the chick who picks locks, right? In case you don't know what Valve is, it's a company that used to make games. Luckily, that's what it says on my business card, so lets! Starting with that whole 'too much of a good thing' part, because while having too many new games at once may not make you sick, it can certainly lead to a deep sense of queasy emptiness when you realise you've just bombed through a whole year's greatest hits, worlds of beauty and imagination and depth and secrets carefully designed by the finest pixel artisans in the world, and barely remember any of them. Really, to start picking holes in it all, you'd have to be the most whining, cynical, ungrateful jerk on the planet. Ignoring that though, there's no arguing that these sales are a great thing - if not more game per pound than ever before, then certainly more good games than those old Spectrum cassettes in WH Smith or their successors, the cheaply produced compilation discs with names like 1001 Games We Pulled Out Of Our Arses. Those Half-Life 3 cocktails have been so watered down lately. By Grabthar's hammer, what a savings! At the time of writing, Dishonored for £2.50, Dark Souls for a fiver, Batman: Arkham Origins for only a little more! I'm sure this weekend's will be even better, if only because it wouldn't be a Steam sale if everything you bought didn't ultimately end up in a 99.9999999% off flash sale so that Gabe can drink of the delicious tears of frustration. Anyhoo, what was I due to talk about today? Ah, yes, Steam sales. is what they're thinking of.ĭon't know why I suddenly thought of that. Just a pointed, bleary-eyed reminder that when people say you can have too much of a good thing, this. And for some reason, this is not treated as a reason for sympathy. It's an explosion a floor-splattering chunderpocalypse, the kind that leaves but one happy thought in the mind - that one day, all things die.
#IS THERE A STEAM CHRISTMAS SALE FULL#
It's my own fault, obviously - a stocking full of Smarties and cheap coins in now-scattered golden foil, some biscuits Santa had turned down, a bit of cake to help pass the time between pretending to go to sleep and everyone else getting up, all stirred and churned and now not tasting anything like as good.
It's Christmas Day, about half past four in the morning, and I feel betrayed by chocolate.
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